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Posts tagged ‘unemployed’

Getting Fired Really Messed Me Up

I went to a job fair at the beginning of this week. Imagine walking into a room filled with tables and booths and everything there is not for you.
For this to make sense I have to explain my short stint in telemarketing. I got a job in Pittsburg, KS during college. It was a time in my life where I did anything because I needed money. I worked for a DayCare with questionable ethics and practices that still haunts my nightmares and I lasted there a year. This telemarketing job paid really well for a job back then $15. It was way above the $5/hr minimum wage and I was positive I could do it. They trained us in big groups and showed us the script and how to keep people talking no matter how many times they said no. I lasted a whopping 8 hrs and never went back. I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t just that people would be constantly rejecting me, it was that I would be pushing credit cards on people when I knew credit cards were the root of all evil.
Each booth at this job fair was filled with things no one needs. I’m not a seller. I can get people to donate to non profits and causes I believe in but I cannot convince them to get insurance or use a credit card that will get them in debt faster than they can pay it off and get a one-two-punch to their ego and pride for their troubles.
I walked into that job fair, around all the tables and right out the door. I somehow managed to walk right into the path of the organizer. She asked me what I thought of the job fair and I told her the truth, that it didn’t provide what I (a highly educated person) was looking for. So she asked me if I talked to the colleges that were there to see if they had positions at their colleges available. I hadn’t thought of that so I turned right around and walked right back in. I talked to all the schools represented and I might have made some connections which was great, although not the purpose or meat of this post.
Getting fired really messed with me. It messed with my confidence in myself. I love working on college campuses and for months I have felt terrified and inadequate.
How do I put a spin on getting fired when it still doesn’t make sense to me. Yes I made mistakes, I completely own up to that. I hated my job because the fear of getting fired was always on my mind. Every screw up was amplified. Every mistake was like a life or death situation, except it wasn’t. I was working in a testing center, following procedures that didn’t make sense. Testing for students for class placement. Not blood tests. Not dying patients.
I was also working a 40hr per week chaplaincy where if I made a mistake I could be sued. And guess what, I shined in that situation. I was a great chaplain. But I wasn’t a great testing center employee. I made lots of mistakes, nothing life threatening but they wanted me gone because of them and honestly the stress of a 20hr per week job was off the charts and I wanted it to be done.
That job messed with my brain. It made me think I was unworthy to work on a college campus. Now I’m thinking I can. Now I’m thinking I don’t want that job to best me. Now I’m thinking that I can’t do mind numbing work. I need something that allows me to actually help people and isn’t wrapped up in processes that don’t make sense.
This job/ situation will not be the end of me, because I simply won’t let it.
I’m better than that.
I love to help students and people in general so I need to find a position that puts my skills and desires and passions to good use. Now if I could only find it quickly ­čÖé

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Today’s applications/ resumes

Just for fun today I thought I would post about the resumes and cover letters I sent out today and the ones I didn’t. In my times of unemployment I feel like the most asked question is, “What are you applying for?” To which I often respond, “What am I not applying for?”

Truth be told, I’ll apply to almost anything, even if I’m not qualified. To these in my cover letter I explain why I’m applying even though I do not meet their qualifications. I lay down my passion and my other qualifications and how they would assist me in the position and I beg them (that might be a little strong but you get the idea) to please consider me for this position. To look beyond my un-qualification and see that I might just be the person they are looking for.

The first job I applied for today is with Community Linc. It’s a job in fundraising and research and would have a good deal to with writing and anyone that knows me, knows that I love to write.

The jobs I don’t apply for are the ones that I really don’t meet their qualifications and there is no way to get around them. For instance there was a transitional coach position open today but you need to have a social work degree (and there’s no give, sometimes there is give and they list other degrees they are willing to accept) and you need to have a license in social work. Those two things I do not have. But if you do you might check out this job opportunity on the nonprofit connect page:┬áhttp://www.npconnect.org/jobs?cl_v=ra&cl_aid=831387

I also don’t apply for jobs that are offering pay way below what I want. For instance, there’s a job today: Youth Volunteer Team Leader┬ábut it is only providing a stipend and that stipend is way below the poverty line. It’s also a full time job with flexible not set hours so it would not lend itself to having another job with it. I apply to full time and part time gigs in the hopes that even if I get a part time gig I can get another part time with it and hopefully make enough to stay afloat. But below the poverty line, full time with flexible hours is not conducive to working another job to get above the poverty line, so I passed on this one too.

I get daily emails from CareerBulider, Monster.com, Indeed.com, and Nonprofit Connect. Nonprofit Connect usually has stuff I want to apply for each day but the rest are usually way off the mark. The kind of job stuff they send me is complete crap and no where near what I want to be doing. It’s very annoying to open their emails because it feels like a waste of time but every once in a while there will be one job that might be worth my time so I continue every day to open the millions of emails I get in the hopes that there might be one job opportunity on the page that I might want.

Here is another social work ad for today, again I don’t qualify but maybe you do:┬áhttp://www.npconnect.org/jobs?cl_v=ra&cl_aid=831379

The last thing I applied for today was an Outreach and Enrollment Coordinator with Swope Community Health Care. It’s the last thing I applied for today because it took me an entire hour to fill out. Long applications really take it out of me but obviously I thought this one was worth it.

And that’s today’s applications and resumes. I spent about 2 and a half hours today working on this stuff. It’s enough to keep me energized and continue to work the next day but not too much that I feel depressed and want to quit searching.

Gerbera Daisy

Gerbera Daisy

God’s Time

This blog started out as a Facebook status update but when it got to be a paragraph long I realized it needed to be a blog.

My reward for 5 cover letters, resumes, and applications written/filled out this evening: reading a good book. I know God has his plan, and I know in that plan is my job.

I know this in the absence of a job because he continues to care for me. I continue to receive money and I continue to be energized instead of depressed. I continue to feel the drive to write. I also feel the drive to apply for the job I want.

In the beginning of my job search I applied for any and all jobs. I applied for jobs in and out of my field and I felt the drain. Day in and out I was drained by applying to jobs I was hoping I would never get. Once I stopped doing that, once I narrowed in on the jobs I wanted, once I only applied for the jobs I was driven to get, I stopped feeling drained.

I started to fall in love with positions and I started seeing similar positions everywhere.

I’ve started some traveling journals with close friends in my life, people that I hope continue to be close with as lives get more complicated. One of these friends has already sent it back to me. She asked me what kind of positions I’m applying for. I’m applying for positions in nonprofits that work with domestic and sexual violence victims. I apply for jobs that have me interacting with the women and allow for an aspect of teaching.

I love all the jobs I apply for but I’m not depressed. You might ask yourself, “how is this possible? She’s not getting interviews or call backs. It’s been 5 months how can she not be depressed? Especially when she falls in love with all the jobs.”

To be honest I’m surprised myself but the truth of the matter is that I’m at peace. Weird I know but also the truth. Each new job I read about sounds more awesome than the last. I want all the jobs I apply for. I don’t know how many places I’ve applied to, because I’m not keeping track. If I went back in my sent email box I’m sure I could tell you but I like my peace so I don’t think I will.

God is in control and this process has taught me that. I’m just waiting for My Job and I know I won’t get a job until My Job comes. So I’m at peace knowing that its out there. Don’t get me wrong I do ask God when that job will come and if he could speed things up a bit. But I’m at peace actively waiting for his job for me.

So I continue to apply. Tonight I applied for jobs in Washington state, in Maryland, in Kansas and Missouri. Most are for Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocate and Prevention Specialist.

Doesn’t that sound awesome! I’m energized just thinking about it! And that feeling is why I continue my search, that feeling is why I’m not depressed. That feeling is why I’m at peace.

God is in control and I’m excited to find My Job!

Now I’m gonna read my book and have a good night’s sleep because I’m in God’s hands waiting in his time for the right job for me.

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Point and Purpose

Being unemployed is boring. My life is the same every day. I wake up. I read a book. I send out a resume, change and send out a cover letter and fill out an application. I make lunch. I shower. I take a nap and on and on it goes. My days don’t really change so when someone asks me what I’m doing I say, “nothing much.”

After a week or so of doing this cycle I started to get depressed and  decided that each day needed a point and purpose beyond the resume/application process. Each day needed at least one accomplishment so that I could feel like each day had a purpose. Sometimes the point and purpose is to do laundry. Sometimes its to do my taxes, to clean, to do dishes, to read a book, to edit something. Whatever it is, as long as I accomplish it that day I feel good. I feel like the day served its purpose.

It doesn’t mean some days aren’t harder than others but it means that the days don’t run together as much. It means I’m not as sad each day. It meas I feel like I serve a purpose.

One day I went through all of my books and separated which ones I actually want to hold on to so that I can start selling the ones I don’t want.

For me a point and purpose for each day is important. For the last 5 years my daily point and purpose had to do with class and before that it was teaching. I realized to get through this time I need to have a point and purpose for each day.

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