Overflow with Hope

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NIV


Think about a time in your life where you felt like all hope was gone. It could a be a horrible diagnosis, a bad grade that you never thought you could get past, it could be a marriage that is over or a relationship that has ended, it could be that you lost a parent or a sibling or a husband or a child or a grandparent or a friend, it could be any number of things. It’s a time where grief has grabbed a hold of you, where you are so focused on the things that are gone that you can’t see the good things in front of you. These are the times when we have to trust God the most. I know it’s hard. When I heard I had Rheumatoid Arthritis I thought my life had ended, I knew the carefree life I was living was gone and that was hard to deal with. Did I grieve the loss? Of course I did.

But once you grieve what once was you have to move on to what is. I’m in lots of Facebook groups where people often talk about having no hope, of not knowing how they will go on. My heart hurts for these people and I wish they knew my parents, my sisters, my brother-in-laws, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my friends and my God.

Honestly, on a day-to-day basis God is my strength to keep me going when laying in bed would be so much easier. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.” Isn’t this the first part of grief. It’s turning towards God and saying, “Ok God, this is my new reality help me get through it.” And as you trust in him, your grief lessens, notice I didn’t say it goes away, it lessens. There are still some days when I grieve what used to be but those days are few and far between the days where I laugh my head off or enjoy time with friends. When I have a hard or painful day I pray to God asking him to make the pain less that day. I trust him to take care of me and he has. I can laugh at something truly funny because God has given me peace, because I trust in him.

“So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” I have always had great faith and I have always felt the Holy Spirit. It’s a powerful force. Imagine the biggest rush of wind you can and imagine that flowing through you as the Holy Spirit. That’s the hope that lives in all of us. And on days when I meet someone at their darkest hour it helps me overflow with hope to give to them.

Do you have something you are grieving that you need to let God into, to give you hope, joy and peace? Can you think of a time when this was true in your own life, have you thanked God for your hope?

Dear Lord, we ask that you fill us with your joy and peace as we go through rough and difficult circumstances. We ask that you fill us with your hope so that we can fill others. We thank you for your joy, peace, love, comfort and hope in the times that we need it most. Lord we thank you so much for loving us. It is in your name we pray, Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.




A banana a day

Depressed? Eat a banana. The article that I linked is an article about a study that a university did with bananas and their affects on depression. Truth is eating a banana won’t cure your depression but it will help.

I’ve been sad quite a bit this week. And each time I have felt sad I have said to myself “Eat a banana.” I’ve been saying it kind of as a joke. Sort of.

Truth is if I just deal with it/cry a little I will be able to lessen the sadness and won’t need the banana. Although bananas are one of the things I can eat now so one a day isn’t a bad idea. 🙂

I went to the grocery store again last night because I needed some more things. I took my mp3 player hoping that if I listened to some tunes I wouldn’t get as  frustrated. It didn’t really help but I did listen to some good tunes.

Then it took me 30 minutes to go 5 miles (which is what happens when you decide to grocery shop at rush hour, what was I thinking?).

So all in all a very frustrating outing and then I cut my finger on a cheese grater because I was frustrated with the hand guard. It was almost a guarantee that something suck-y was going to happen yesterday. Including my cousin’s kid in the hospital for an extended stay and my aunt going to the ER. Seriously God what is happening?

I’m sad because my grandma has dementia. I’m sad because I can’t eat what I want. I’m anxious because I only have a few weeks to find a job. Shit’s getting deep (excuse my language if it bothers you). I need to deal with it before it gets too high and I drown in it.

I have to write a paper by Tuesday (and read the book for the paper).  I also need to plan what I am going to teach tomorrow and all I really want to do is curl up and watch a movie and then clean my room. I should also venture to Whole Foods to get the things I can’t get anywhere else.

I hate food shopping. I used to like it. I used to like planning out my meals.

I went to my favorite restaurant this week: Green Street. And tried to order my favorite salad but it had blue cheese crumbles and blue cheese dressing and chicken all of which I had to ask to be removed. It was a dry salad and was not worth the trip. The company made it worthwhile but it was just another meal that I cannot enjoy anymore.

It made me so sad but I would have felt ridiculous crying in the restaurant so I didn’t. Although I didn’t feel ridiculous bringing my own tea bag. I should have brought my own dressing too. I tried my own dressing on it when I got home and it was okay but what is the fun of eating out if I have to make the meal myself. I wanted to eat out so that dinner wouldn’t be something I had to make. So that it could be simple. It just made me sad.

After that experience I’m not sure eating out is worth it. I am feeling better which makes all of this worth it. But that’s little succor when I am bereft of  pizza (paraphrasing from The Big Bang Theory “Stale pastry is hollow succor of man who is bereft of ostrich.”).

Gluten is in everything. In things you wouldn’t think of. So shopping is at least an hour process and it is frustrating. But I did learn something this trip that will make my next trip less frustrating. Apparently the manager at Trader Joes has a list of Gluten-Free items that he will let you see when you come in. Maybe someone there can help me shop 😉

Lots to do today and I don’t feel like doing any of it. Maybe I should just eat a banana 🙂

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