Overflow with Hope

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NIV

 

Think about a time in your life where you felt like all hope was gone. It could a be a horrible diagnosis, a bad grade that you never thought you could get past, it could be a marriage that is over or a relationship that has ended, it could be that you lost a parent or a sibling or a husband or a child or a grandparent or a friend, it could be any number of things. It’s a time where grief has grabbed a hold of you, where you are so focused on the things that are gone that you can’t see the good things in front of you. These are the times when we have to trust God the most. I know it’s hard. When I heard I had Rheumatoid Arthritis I thought my life had ended, I knew the carefree life I was living was gone and that was hard to deal with. Did I grieve the loss? Of courseĀ I did.

But once you grieve what once was you have to move on to what is. I’m in lots of Facebook groups where people often talk about having no hope, of not knowing how they will go on. My heart hurts for these people and I wish they knew my parents, my sisters, my brother-in-laws, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my friends and my God.

Honestly, on a day-to-day basis God is my strength to keep me going when laying in bed would be so much easier. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.” Isn’t this the first part of grief. It’s turning towards God and saying, “Ok God, this is my new reality help me get through it.” And as you trust in him, your grief lessens, notice I didn’t say it goes away, it lessens. There are still some days when I grieve what used to be but those days are few and far between the days where I laugh my head off or enjoy time with friends. When I have a hard or painful day I pray to God asking him to make the pain less that day. I trust him to take care of me and he has. I can laugh at something truly funny because God has given me peace, because I trust in him.

“So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” I have always had great faith and I have always felt the Holy Spirit. It’s a powerful force. Imagine the biggest rush of wind you can and imagine that flowing through you as the Holy Spirit. That’s the hope that lives in all of us. And on days when I meet someone at their darkest hour it helps me overflow with hope to give to them.

Do you have something you are grieving that you need to let God into, to give you hope, joy and peace? Can you think of a time when this was true in your own life, have you thanked God for your hope?

Dear Lord, we ask that you fill us with your joy and peace as we go through rough and difficult circumstances. We ask that you fill us with your hope so that we can fill others. We thank you for your joy, peace, love, comfort and hope in the times that we need it most. Lord we thank you so much for loving us. It is in your name we pray, Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

hope

 

Advertisements

You’d Think I’d Be Thrilled

This week I heard from the doctor that I don’t have Celiac, that I’m not gluten intolerant. WHAT!!??!! How is that possible? I gave up bread and pizza and cake and everything! Now you’re telling me that, that isn’t the answer!?! That when I’ve had horrible migraines, diarrhea, body aches, horrible gas, running to the bathroom hope I make it, etc it hasn’t been because I messed up and had gluten along the way???????????????

So what does this mean? Last night I gave it a try, because I’m already in hell why not go for the gold. I ate a breaded chicken sandwich on bread and a gluten full cookie and the world didn’t end. No headache. No 10 trips to the bathroom in one night. I still had the problems I’ve been having but it was no worse. WHAT THE HELL!!!????!!!!

You’d think I’d be happy about this, and don’t get me wrong I am. I’m not going to go full throttle because when I’ve been eating gluten free I’ve felt the healthiest I’ve ever felt, plus I like the weight I’ve lost and I don’t want to go back to BIG TAMMY :). Plus cooking has become something I excel at and love. But I’m looking forward to eating cake on occasion and when I eat out not having to freak out about what has touched what in the kitchen.

You’d think with this new revelation I’d be happy but the truth is I’m not. I thought I had THE ANSWER! I thought for the last several years that the answer was GLUTEN and if I stayed away from it I could live a happy, healthy, life. I thought that my troubles were behind me and that my change in diet could be the answer….but now they are telling me I never had the answer. That that wasn’t it.

How can that be? I lost lots of weight, and felt better with minor blips along the way where I would have all the tummy troubles but they would only last a day or so not months upon months upon months.

So the blips have been minor flare ups? And the months upon months have been actual flare ups? So you tell me, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?!

The minor blips come with diarrhea and the need to run to the bathroom; migraines; body aches, weakness, and tiredness; painful gas; and this all comes on within moments of eating. I mean I remember eating out with my friend Betsy and within a few bites of food I knew I was going to be sick for the rest of the night. I would eat and my body would feel like it ingested poison and around 2 am I’d be running to the bathroom.

The days upon days upon days of this stuff comes with morning, noon and night trips to the bathroom, multiple trips to the bathroom; painful gas, and nausea. Most of my trips to the bathroom happen in the evening but they seem to be related to the time on the clock and not when I eat. In the beginning I thought they were triggered by my eating but I noticed when I skipped a meal I was still having the same problem.

So basically I’ve been living with this for the past 10 years with no solution. I thought I had a solution but I was wrong.

You’d think I’d be happy I can eat gluten again but I’m not. I’m not happy that I don’t have an answer anymore. I’m willing to give up the foods I love, even if it’s the veggies I adore or the fruit I love (though I’m very hopeful I won’t have to give these up) to have the answer I need.

Lord, I’m seeking an answer. It doesn’t have to be today but someday soon please. What is the answer to this question? Please help the doctors that are treating me to find the right answer. I’m sorry I’m not grateful that I can eat gluten again, it just feels like I’ve lost hope again and I’m not happy. I know you are the great big GOD and can do all things, so why God am I still suffering? Healing would be awesome God but if that’s not in the plan an answer would be even better. I just want an answer. I’ve got millions of questions but this is the one problem that I need an answer for. Please give that to me God. Amen.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑