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Posts tagged ‘friendship’

God’s Faithfulness #3

If you have missed #1 and #2 be sure to check them out.

Because of the place I am in right now this is a little more difficult than I thought it would be. I actually considered skipping today’s post but decided it is better to keep going than to stop.

God’s faithfulness #3:

3. Food on the table. God has fed me when I didn’t think it was possible.

My seminary career has been long and it has been hard. One of the hardest things has been staying afloat money wise. There have honestly been months when I didn’t know if I was going to be able to afford to feed myself. I could either pay a bill or eat that week.

Do you know how hard it is to live like that? It’s wretched. Any-who now is the time not to focus on how hard it has been but to actually focus on what God has done for me.

In times of great distress about money and eating money would come in the mail. There were several times when someone in my community (I think it was James) would put a card in my mailbox with money for food or a Ralph’s gift card. They always came when I was at my lowest, when I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to eat.

It was always enough and I always felt both loved and cared for. God met my needs through loving people and I praised God and said Thank you whenever I could (when they told me who they were).

See I don’t believe in coincidence. I don’t believe in happenstance. I believe God made good people, people who care, people who see a starving girl and give her what they can. These are the people who will be seated at the right and left hand of God because they don’t care. They do not do the work that they do for the acolades but simply because they can and know that it is right.

God has surrounded me with these people for the last several years. They see needs and fix them. They see my hurting when I cannot admit and they love me even though I cannot admit it, they love me in the moment and they are not annoyed by my pain.

God’s faithfulness #3 is supposed to be about the money but I think it’s really about the people. The people that love me. The people who met my needs, the people that were the hands of God reaching out towards me.

God through people provided food for the table and I never went without and as I go through this rough time I will try to remember that God has provided, often at the last second when all I had was faith that he would not let me go to waste, he has provided.

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God’s faithfulness #1

I met with my wise friend Vicky today :). We meet once every couple of weeks to talk about things, usually our talks focus on me but this time there was a fair amount of sharing on all sides.

Anyway she mentioned how when we are in the midst of hard times it is helpful to look back and see when God was there.

It was an interesting enough idea that I thought I would take some time each day to write about God’s faithfulness. She actually challenged me to think about (and write about) 10 times where God has been faithful.

As we were talking I decided to take the challenge so here is God’s faithfulness #1:

There were actually a couple of things I thought about when I thought about God’s faithfulness and then I remembered my friend Laura and the discernment group we were part of a few years ago.

1. God held my heart until I could. Some might not understand this but it makes perfect sense to me. A few years ago I was a broken person (well more broken than I am now). I was just coming to grips with all of the abuse that I had endured through my life and I wasn’t able to hold it all together. I couldn’t even hold my heart.

When I pictured what my heart looked like I always saw paper torn apart. I couldn’t hold myself together. It was during this time that Laura had shared a picture that God had shown her. She saw God holding my heart in a bag, he was holding it for me, keeping it and me protected until I could hold my own heart.

He wasn’t going to allow me to rip my heart to shreds and was going to protect it and me no matter what.

Recently I feel like God finally gave me back my heart because I can stand to hold it. I see the beauty in me and no longer just see the damage. I see the scars of me but I also see that my heart is whole. God fixed it and protects it from being broken again.

God put me back together and held the parts of me that I could not hold.

So that’s God’s faithfulness #1. It’s not a tangible thing but maybe tomorrow I will be able to think about something tangible for now I will remember that God was faithful in his protection of me, even from me.

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