I’ve moved

I have been in Sedalia, MO for 3 days and so far I’m having a good time.

So far I’ve had one disturbing incidence with my landlord, where after several conversations on the phone, in person, and through email I assured them I was moving in the 26th and she somehow assumed I was moving in the first. She was definitely at fault but preceded to try to put the blame on me. But I refuse to take the blame. I was clear and paid the prorated rent for October. I did what I was supposed to.

Anyway, my interactions with everyone else in Sedalia has been positive.

Although I did have an issue with AT&T but that’s easy to solve: go with someone else.

Now I’m getting my car checked out and using the free wifi. Tomorrow I’ll have my own and can start posting for my business and be blogging more.

Yesterday I was sick in bed and that wasn’t enjoyable but I got lots of sleep :-).

Tomorrow they’re coming to install my internet and it’s supposed to be a rainy day so I’m looking forward to knitting, drinking tea and getting ready for my first day.

I’m really hoping and praying that this service won’t cost me an arm and a leg. But like Dave Ramsey says your car is one of those expenses that you just have to take care of.

So here I am waiting and praying. They just came out and said it could be fixed with an oil change and a flush of the system so let’s hope that’s it :-).

Until later

All the Stuff I’m Selling Part 2

I’m selling stuff before my move and this is today’s list:

1. JoAnna Carl books: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4139405290.html

joannacarl5

2. Red Purse: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/clo/4139413978.html

redpurse

3. Blue Sandals: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/clo/4139423082.html

blueshoes1

4. Blue, yellow, and green scarf: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/clo/4139433951.html

blueyellowandgreenscarf blueyellowandgreenscarf1

5. Tan Sandals: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/clo/4139441447.html

tan sandals

All the stuff I’m selling Part 1

Okay, I haven’t written a blog in a really long time and this is probably the wrong way to go about this but I’m selling stuff on Craigslist and I hate to just have millions of posts on FB to sell my stuff. So instead of doing that I’m posting all the listings in this blog series :). The Craigslist ads will let you see pricing details.

If you are interested in any of the things I’m selling email me at tammyrae32@gmail.com. I’m willing to go negotiate the price, if it’s right :).

1. The Host by Stephenie Meyer: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136007892.html

the host

2. Mandolin Kitchen Slicer: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136007892.html

kitchenslicer

3. True Colors by Kristin Hannah: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136042525.html

true colors

4. Clutch: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136042525.html

front of bag

5. Gone Girl Hardback: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136067889.html

Gone Girl

6. Acting as a Business: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136075192.html

Acting as a business

7. How to be a Working Actor: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/bks/4136086979.html

working as an actor

The Beauty Messages We Aren’t Sending

I am on Facebook a lot these days, simply because I am unemployed and sadly some of my most meaningful human interactions come through Facebook.

I was on Facebook this past week and a friend of mine had mentioned how her daughter was being treated because she’s overweight.

This got me thinking. It was explained in the post that the daughter has health issues and they are working to correct them and hopefully with some good diagnoses she’ll get to a good weight.

This really got me thinking about what we as a society think beauty is.  It got me thinking about the days when I was a size 18 and the guilt that went along with that. I used to walk 3 miles each day and ate, not exactly healthy but nothing that would be adding more and more weight each year. I was constantly ill but still big. I had no idea why I was gaining weight and no clue how to make it stop.

I had two chins and had to shop in the plus size department, where clothes are ill fitting because I guess plus size designers think that if you add more room for boobs or more room in the front of pants that it will fit every plus size woman. I had no need for the extra room in the front of my pants and my boobs were never as big as the shirts that fit over my belly wanted my boobs to be.

The clothes I wore hid my body and had me feeling like I needed to hide all the time. I can still remember shopping in Fashion Bug and having to leave the Misses department and walk into the Plus Size department. I was literally crying in the middle of the store because I had to cross that divide.

What I felt in that moment was certainly not beauty.

During this time I was also annoyed with the messages I got from the stores I bought my clothes. I was shopping for Plus Size clothing and the models were a size 12. To buy clothes at Lane Bryant you have to be a size 14 at least and their models are a size 12. Does that make sense to you?

The message that sends to me is that women who are bigger than a size 12 (most of the population) are not beauty or beautiful. Does that make sense to you?

I picture this friend’s daughter and see her soul. I wonder how much she cries, how much she doubts her beauty because of her size.

So what messages of beauty should we be sending that we aren’t?

I’m still a huge fan of Christina Aguilera’s  Beautiful because it emphasizes the need to see beyond what people say and see and see for yourself that you are beautiful.

I think one of the toughest lessons to learn is that: how you perceive yourself is the only thing that matters.

To a child that doesn’t know who she is, this is difficult. To an adult who knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin no matter what size she is, it’s powerful.

You know the phrase, “beauty is more than skin deep?” I looked it up and found this definition on Wiki Answers, “Beauty is more than skin deep means a person can be beautiful inside and out. Their personality can shine through and be just as beautiful as your outside looks. It also means that inside of every beautiful person is something better that should be noticed more than their looks. Looks are good but personality is better.”

I really love the part about personality being better than looks. I have met my fair share of people who are beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside. It means so much more when someone is beautiful on the inside.

So how do we go about making sure that we emphasize the beauty on the inside? How do we tell children that are outside of what is deemed “normal” that they are special and beautiful?

The only thing I can think of is affirmation. If you are an adult woman or a child, stand in front of a mirror with someone you trust and list out the things you like about yourself, the things you wish you could change, and the things you can change.

Maybe you wish you could lose 10 lbs but its not a realistic goal because of physical limitations but you also wish you could change the color of your hair. Then change you hair.

Maybe you love your fingers but wish your clavicle wasn’t as prominent (yes we women think these crazy things). Then wear bold nail polish and gorgeous rings.

Until we become comfortable in our own skin we need to affirm the things that we like. We need to emphasize them and down play what we consider our faults. Then we can move on to the important stuff: how we really see ourselves and being comfortable with who we are.

If you have someone in your life who doesn’t like the way they look or are made fun of because of how they look then you need to speak affirmation into their lives.

You need to make it a point to compliment them every time you see them. Start with what’s on the outside, focusing on what you deem their strengths, then focus on the inside. Calling out the beauty of their character.

I lost a significant amount of weight when I had to go gluten free for health reasons. But before I lost this weight I found a comfort-ability with who I was and how I looked.

It’s important for you to like yourself no matter your size because your opinion is the only opinion that matters.

Beauty is more than the messages we see outside, it’s what’s inside and its connected to how we see ourselves.

Take time to affirm the beauty you see in others around you…………it just might make their day and help them to see the beauty withinBeauty Painting

Getting Fired Really Messed Me Up

I went to a job fair at the beginning of this week. Imagine walking into a room filled with tables and booths and everything there is not for you.
For this to make sense I have to explain my short stint in telemarketing. I got a job in Pittsburg, KS during college. It was a time in my life where I did anything because I needed money. I worked for a DayCare with questionable ethics and practices that still haunts my nightmares and I lasted there a year. This telemarketing job paid really well for a job back then $15. It was way above the $5/hr minimum wage and I was positive I could do it. They trained us in big groups and showed us the script and how to keep people talking no matter how many times they said no. I lasted a whopping 8 hrs and never went back. I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t just that people would be constantly rejecting me, it was that I would be pushing credit cards on people when I knew credit cards were the root of all evil.
Each booth at this job fair was filled with things no one needs. I’m not a seller. I can get people to donate to non profits and causes I believe in but I cannot convince them to get insurance or use a credit card that will get them in debt faster than they can pay it off and get a one-two-punch to their ego and pride for their troubles.
I walked into that job fair, around all the tables and right out the door. I somehow managed to walk right into the path of the organizer. She asked me what I thought of the job fair and I told her the truth, that it didn’t provide what I (a highly educated person) was looking for. So she asked me if I talked to the colleges that were there to see if they had positions at their colleges available. I hadn’t thought of that so I turned right around and walked right back in. I talked to all the schools represented and I might have made some connections which was great, although not the purpose or meat of this post.
Getting fired really messed with me. It messed with my confidence in myself. I love working on college campuses and for months I have felt terrified and inadequate.
How do I put a spin on getting fired when it still doesn’t make sense to me. Yes I made mistakes, I completely own up to that. I hated my job because the fear of getting fired was always on my mind. Every screw up was amplified. Every mistake was like a life or death situation, except it wasn’t. I was working in a testing center, following procedures that didn’t make sense. Testing for students for class placement. Not blood tests. Not dying patients.
I was also working a 40hr per week chaplaincy where if I made a mistake I could be sued. And guess what, I shined in that situation. I was a great chaplain. But I wasn’t a great testing center employee. I made lots of mistakes, nothing life threatening but they wanted me gone because of them and honestly the stress of a 20hr per week job was off the charts and I wanted it to be done.
That job messed with my brain. It made me think I was unworthy to work on a college campus. Now I’m thinking I can. Now I’m thinking I don’t want that job to best me. Now I’m thinking that I can’t do mind numbing work. I need something that allows me to actually help people and isn’t wrapped up in processes that don’t make sense.
This job/ situation will not be the end of me, because I simply won’t let it.
I’m better than that.
I love to help students and people in general so I need to find a position that puts my skills and desires and passions to good use. Now if I could only find it quickly 🙂

20130725-073936.jpg

Today’s applications/ resumes

Just for fun today I thought I would post about the resumes and cover letters I sent out today and the ones I didn’t. In my times of unemployment I feel like the most asked question is, “What are you applying for?” To which I often respond, “What am I not applying for?”

Truth be told, I’ll apply to almost anything, even if I’m not qualified. To these in my cover letter I explain why I’m applying even though I do not meet their qualifications. I lay down my passion and my other qualifications and how they would assist me in the position and I beg them (that might be a little strong but you get the idea) to please consider me for this position. To look beyond my un-qualification and see that I might just be the person they are looking for.

The first job I applied for today is with Community Linc. It’s a job in fundraising and research and would have a good deal to with writing and anyone that knows me, knows that I love to write.

The jobs I don’t apply for are the ones that I really don’t meet their qualifications and there is no way to get around them. For instance there was a transitional coach position open today but you need to have a social work degree (and there’s no give, sometimes there is give and they list other degrees they are willing to accept) and you need to have a license in social work. Those two things I do not have. But if you do you might check out this job opportunity on the nonprofit connect page: http://www.npconnect.org/jobs?cl_v=ra&cl_aid=831387

I also don’t apply for jobs that are offering pay way below what I want. For instance, there’s a job today: Youth Volunteer Team Leader but it is only providing a stipend and that stipend is way below the poverty line. It’s also a full time job with flexible not set hours so it would not lend itself to having another job with it. I apply to full time and part time gigs in the hopes that even if I get a part time gig I can get another part time with it and hopefully make enough to stay afloat. But below the poverty line, full time with flexible hours is not conducive to working another job to get above the poverty line, so I passed on this one too.

I get daily emails from CareerBulider, Monster.com, Indeed.com, and Nonprofit Connect. Nonprofit Connect usually has stuff I want to apply for each day but the rest are usually way off the mark. The kind of job stuff they send me is complete crap and no where near what I want to be doing. It’s very annoying to open their emails because it feels like a waste of time but every once in a while there will be one job that might be worth my time so I continue every day to open the millions of emails I get in the hopes that there might be one job opportunity on the page that I might want.

Here is another social work ad for today, again I don’t qualify but maybe you do: http://www.npconnect.org/jobs?cl_v=ra&cl_aid=831379

The last thing I applied for today was an Outreach and Enrollment Coordinator with Swope Community Health Care. It’s the last thing I applied for today because it took me an entire hour to fill out. Long applications really take it out of me but obviously I thought this one was worth it.

And that’s today’s applications and resumes. I spent about 2 and a half hours today working on this stuff. It’s enough to keep me energized and continue to work the next day but not too much that I feel depressed and want to quit searching.

Gerbera Daisy
Gerbera Daisy

Knitting while Unemployed

I still haven’t found a job but I have found some ways to keep myself busy. One of those ways is to knit. This past week I started an Etsy page: TRWKnitsWithLove and a Facebook page: TRW Knits With Love

I have also started to try to write articles for money. We’ll see how that goes. I am in no way expecting to pay my bills with these avenues I am just hoping to stay above drowning as I continue to pursue God’s job for me.

On a separate note, I recently noticed that the hand soap I was using had gluten in it. And summer brings more products to search for:

  • Sunscreen: I found gluten free sunscreen but it’s only 10, which sucks especially when you know someone who has skin cancer and you want to avoid it like the plague. Guess I’ll just have to constantly reapply my 10.
  • Insect Repellent: On this one I have no clue if it has gluten in it or not because they don’t list their ingredients. The good news is that the all natural stuff, that lists its ingredients, is gluten free.

Ta-ta for now.

Braided necklace $15
Braided necklace $15

braided necklace view2

Playing Catch Up

It’s been 21 days since I posted something and for me that seems like a long time. In that time my younger sister has gotten married. I helped out with VBS, finished a baby blanket, and come to the realization that if I don’t think about Celiac and gluten it always comes to bite me in the ass. 🙂

Rebecca’s Wedding was Great! It was a lot of fun. She was super stressed and disappointed about things before the wedding but the day of she took things in stride and had a blast. She wiggled her tush when dad pronounced them husband and wife and that’s the kind of attitude she brought to the whole day. It was great!

Image

The daddy daughter dance at the reception was one of my favorite parts. Dad has this way of dancing to make fun of himself (which other men seemed to share as the night went on) so they incorporated that into the dance. They started with “Soul Man” and finished with a sweet “My Girl.” It was great. Rebecca also danced with Grandpa.

The couple finished the night by walking out to the car through sparklers. It was a great night.

sparklers

My cousin Jj Long was the photographer for the event. Be sure to check out his page: Long Photography

you had me at hello

VBS last week wore me out. I cannot believe how exhausting it was to help out with crafts. I came home at about 1:30 each day and took at least a 2 hour nap. How do parents survive? I guess they don’t have 100+ children running around and they probably don’t work with 20 kids at a time trying to get them excited about a craft.

Ever since I went gluten free I’ve had a sort of blasé attitude. I mean as long as I don’t eat gluten I’m good right? Not really. The makeup was annoying but so are a lot of other things. We got manicures and pedicures before the wedding and my manicure was basically a polish change. No massage because I couldn’t allow them to use their lotion or oil because I couldn’t read the ingredients.  I got my hair cut recently (the day of the wedding, risky I know but it worked out great) and I went to style my hair and realized I didn’t have any gluten free styling products on hand. You might be thinking, “who cares if your styling products are gluten free?” Let me ask you this question: how many times a day do you touch your hair? Do you then eat something with your hands, like a sandwich? Imagine that the stuff in your hair is covered with poison….do you really want to style your hair with poison? I didn’t think so.

The other day I was thinking about how awesome it would be to get a facial but I bet I can’t do that anymore either. They don’t exactly advertise gluten free facials. And getting a massage…what’s that going to be like? I’m sorry sir, ma’am but you can’t touch me with that lotion or oil unless I can read the ingredients first.

I ate some salsa this week that made me sick. When I went back to the jar I realized that it just said “spices” as one of the ingredients. How the hell am I supposed to know what your “spices” have in them?  I’m of course asking this question because I got very sick that night and the next day.

I miss the days of getting a haircut, going out to eat, or really doing anything without thinking about gluten. I know that Celiac is one of the easier diseases to have but sometimes it really gets me down. I mean I love the weight I’ve lost and how much better I feel when I actually manage to avoid it but I would really love to get a massage without having to bring my own lotion. 😦

In my time away from blogging I’ve also gotten some more rejection letters and these ones hurt a bit more. My first rejection letter was received several weeks ago for a job I don’t even remember applying for, it was one from when I was just applying for anything. Now that I’ve narrowed my focus and only apply for jobs I actually want the rejection letters sting a bit more. They are written nicely and say nice things but they still sting a bit.

I also just this past Sunday was approached by someone with encouraging words from God. It was a great moment but it really deserves it’s own blog.

Alright, that’s all the catch up I’ve got for now. Ta-ta for now, hopefully my next blog won’t take 21 days to be posted 🙂

Gluten Free Life…after a discouraging week

This past week has been gluten hell for me. I don’t like to complain about being a Celiac. 1) Because I don’t have an offical diagnosis (health insurance purposes) and 2) because as long as I avoid gluten my disease is not a problem.

I have friends and family members that are dealing with chronic illnesses and diseases that are painful and they have no way of getting away from them. They cannot get away from their pain by simply changing their diet.

That being said, I’m gonna complain now. I’m going complain about this stuff because it has been a difficult week for me because I have been unable to avoid gluten and my disease, despite my best efforts.

The first incident happened this week when I was searching for gluten free makeup. If you’re a part of my real world, you know that my sister is getting married this Saturday. Less than a week away. Since going gluten free I haven’t really had a reason to wear makeup and even when I have I haven’t gone all out. Recently (before this week) I put on the lipstick I had without thinking about it. I wore it and was sick. So I knew that I had made a mistake and needed to find gluten free makeup before the wedding.

I got out my trusty guide to gluten free: The G-Free Diet: A Gluten Free Survival Guide by Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I bought this book as soon as I went gluten free and it really has been a good guide to gluten free living. The best thing about it is that Hasselbeck makes you realize how much of your own research you need to do.

It has my trusty list of ingredients that you should watch out in personal care products (like makeup). It’s an extensive list and if you are just beginning the journey into going gluten free, not for vanity, but for health, it can seem daunting but rest assured once you make a mistake that has you writhing in pain you’ll commit the list to memory or at least have a copy of it in your phone. The list is in the chapter titled, “Gorgeously G-Free” and starts on page 171 and continues on page 172.

The List:

  • Amino peptide complex
  • Amp-isostearoyl hydrolyzed wheat protein
  • Avena sativa (oat) flour
  • Avena sativa (oat) flour kernal
  • Barley derived
  • Barley extract
  • Disodium wheatgermamido PEG-2 sulfosuccinate
  • Hordeum vulgare (barley) extract
  • Hydrolyzed wheat gluten
  • Hydrolyzed wheat protein
  • Hydrolyzed wheat protein PG-propyl silanteriol
  • Hydrolyzed wheat starch
  • Hydroxpropyltrimonium hydrolyzed wheat protein
  • Oat extract
  • Oat beta glucan
  • Oat derived
  • Oat extract
  • Oat flour
  • Phytophingosine extract
  • Rye derived
  • Sodium lauroyl oat amino acids
  • Triticum vulgare (wheat) flour lipids
  • Triticum vulgare (wheat) germ extract
  • Triticum vulgare (wheat) germ oil
  • Tocopherol
  • Tocopheryl Acetate
  • Vitamin E
  • Wheat (triticum vulgare) bran extract
  • Wheat amino acids
  • Wheat bran extract
  • Wheat derived
  • Wheat germ extracts
  • What germ glycerides
  • Wheat germ oil
  • Wheat germamidopropyldimonium hydroxpropyl hydrolyzed wheat protein

It’s an extensive list and can seem scary but I always look for “Wheat” first and then look for “tocopherol” or “tocopheryl acetate.” Most beauty products contain tocopherol acetate. I see those two words (that I’m not actually sure I pronounce correctly) and I put the product back on the shelf.

My problem this week came about when I was shopping for makeup. I was lucky on my first trip and PhysicansFormula had foundation and bronzer that were clearly labeled gluten free and after checking the list of ingredients was glad that it was gluten free. I also found some gluten free eye shadow, the problem came when looking for lipstick.

There is not a lipstick out on the market, even those that claim to be gluten free, that do not contain tocopheryl acetate. Not a one. The chapstick I have been using all year, Burt’s Bees, contains it, as does all other lipsticks on the market.

How can a lipstick company claim to be gluten free and list that ingredient on their box? It’s a frustration of mine, but as the consumer I have to keep a look out for myself.

The problem with that is that lipstick containers are tricky, some of them you cannot read the ingredients in the store without purchasing the product, because the ingredient list is hidden behind the packaging. The other issue is that the ingredients are impossible to read. The print is super small, so small that even my young eyes cannot read them. I needed a lipstick so I went with a couple of brands that I was assured were gluten free (through my research) and they were not. I found this out the hard way. I tried out the lipstick and had a migraine as soon as the lipstick touched my lips. Then came the cramping and by 3 am I was spending every few minutes running to the bathroom. Since I was up anyway I searched for the packing and boxes again, got out a magnifying glass and read the horrifying words, “tocopheryl acetate.” Crap! Luckily I was able to return the products but I was sick all night long and part of the next day because of this oversight on my part and horrible packaging on their part.

In the morning I contacted the customer service people of each company and asked them to make a change in their packaging. I was not asking for money but rather safer consumerism. One company (Bare…) sent me an email stating that they were not at fault for my illness. Okay, that’s not what I wanted. Sure as the consumer it’s my job to do my research, I did and was given false information on websites and forums. I also looked on their website for ingredient information and could find none. I’m not seeking money I just want them to help make my shopping experience easier. Since receiving this email I have been upset with the company whereas before I just wanted to help them make a better product. (But my anger at this company is not what this blog is about).

After returning the items, I went to Natural Grocers and got some lip tint and lip gloss that is gluten free. It said it on the packaging and I read the ingredient list 10 times (and every time I use them) before purchasing the products. I am a better consumer every time something like this happens but I’d rather not learn these lessons, I’d rather just steer clear of gluten.

The second incident happened last night. My sister had her bachelorette party and each of us bridesmaids brought a dish to share. I was about to spoon some meatballs onto my plate and asked the host what she put in them and she said what the sauce was made of. I then proceeded to eat 10 or so of those good meatballs.

Until about 2 am I didn’t think to ask how the meatballs themselves were made.  I didn’t think to ask if she made them herself or if she bought them. I didn’t think to ask if the packaging said gluten free. They were good meatballs but they were not worth the horrific migraine, insane cramping, and hours upon hours of running to the bathroom. They were also not worth the muscle soreness today, the trips to the bathroom, the lethargy, and the overall painful, sucky day that this has been.

I could be mad at this bridesmaid but just like with the lipstick company I’m at fault. I’ve lived with this kind of stuff for about a year now and every mistake I make has two sides. My side as the consumer or partygoer and the side of the company or host. I’m at fault because I didn’t think to ask, I didn’t think to triple check and get out the magnifying glass before trying out the product. I didn’t think to question a so called gluten free company.  I didn’t think to ask what the meatball was made of.

I will never again make these mistakes. I have thoroughly learned my lessons. The pain is horrific and I cannot wait until this passes through my system and I can get back to life. After all there is a wedding to put on!

Before I go, I have one more soap box to get on. I learned something horrifying this week, beauty products including lotions, lipsticks, hair dyes and so forth do not have to list all of their ingredients on the packaging. They can hide ingredients. So my Celiac friends if you are suddenly ill for a reason you cannot fathom consider going beauty product free for a few days and see if that solves your problems. Then reintroduce a product at a time to find the culprit.

Being Celiac is easier than some diseases out there but it has it’s hiccups and issues like anything else. There are days when I wish I could just eat a piece of cake or have a thick crust piece of pizza but then stuff like this happens and I remember that eating gluten is like poison to my system and not worth the pain.

Badger Lip Tint (my lipstick alternative) http://www.badgerbalm.com/p-463-lip-tints-shimmers.aspx
Badger Lip Tint (my lipstick alternative)
http://www.badgerbalm.com/p-463-lip-tints-shimmers.aspx
Zuzu Luxe lip gloss http://www.natureofbeauty.com/zuzu-luxe-lip-gloss.html
Zuzu Luxe lip gloss
http://www.natureofbeauty.com/zuzu-luxe-lip-gloss.html

God’s Time

This blog started out as a Facebook status update but when it got to be a paragraph long I realized it needed to be a blog.

My reward for 5 cover letters, resumes, and applications written/filled out this evening: reading a good book. I know God has his plan, and I know in that plan is my job.

I know this in the absence of a job because he continues to care for me. I continue to receive money and I continue to be energized instead of depressed. I continue to feel the drive to write. I also feel the drive to apply for the job I want.

In the beginning of my job search I applied for any and all jobs. I applied for jobs in and out of my field and I felt the drain. Day in and out I was drained by applying to jobs I was hoping I would never get. Once I stopped doing that, once I narrowed in on the jobs I wanted, once I only applied for the jobs I was driven to get, I stopped feeling drained.

I started to fall in love with positions and I started seeing similar positions everywhere.

I’ve started some traveling journals with close friends in my life, people that I hope continue to be close with as lives get more complicated. One of these friends has already sent it back to me. She asked me what kind of positions I’m applying for. I’m applying for positions in nonprofits that work with domestic and sexual violence victims. I apply for jobs that have me interacting with the women and allow for an aspect of teaching.

I love all the jobs I apply for but I’m not depressed. You might ask yourself, “how is this possible? She’s not getting interviews or call backs. It’s been 5 months how can she not be depressed? Especially when she falls in love with all the jobs.”

To be honest I’m surprised myself but the truth of the matter is that I’m at peace. Weird I know but also the truth. Each new job I read about sounds more awesome than the last. I want all the jobs I apply for. I don’t know how many places I’ve applied to, because I’m not keeping track. If I went back in my sent email box I’m sure I could tell you but I like my peace so I don’t think I will.

God is in control and this process has taught me that. I’m just waiting for My Job and I know I won’t get a job until My Job comes. So I’m at peace knowing that its out there. Don’t get me wrong I do ask God when that job will come and if he could speed things up a bit. But I’m at peace actively waiting for his job for me.

So I continue to apply. Tonight I applied for jobs in Washington state, in Maryland, in Kansas and Missouri. Most are for Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocate and Prevention Specialist.

Doesn’t that sound awesome! I’m energized just thinking about it! And that feeling is why I continue my search, that feeling is why I’m not depressed. That feeling is why I’m at peace.

God is in control and I’m excited to find My Job!

Now I’m gonna read my book and have a good night’s sleep because I’m in God’s hands waiting in his time for the right job for me.

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