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Archive for December, 2012

Jesus’ Healing Culture

I googled “Jesus’ Healing Culture” this morning and found an article which was truly interesting: 37 New Testament Miracles of Jesus Christ.

It lists in a chart all the healing that Jesus did in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. What is most interesting is what stories are repeated in the top three (Matthew, Mark, and Luke). The number is pretty interesting as well. 37 stories of healing in the New Testament.

Two or three and you might think it is fluke but 37, that’s a substantial number. Substantial enough to make me believe that Jesus’ healing culture continues today.

I’ve seen this healing first hand.

In my ministry with women who have been sexually abused, I’ve seen women believe in themselves. I’ve seen strength come from nowhere. I’ve seen courage to continue blossom in women. I’ve seen women come out of their shells and begin to live anew.

During my CPE internship I saw a lot of death. I saw death in the ER when the EMTs had worked on the person on the scene and then they had worked on them all the way to the hospital and then the ER staff had worked on them and the person was declared dead in the ER. I brought several family members to visit a dead loved one over several hours.

I saw death in the ICU when a young man had flipped his car and was declared dead in the ER but then someone heard a heartbeat. I’ve seen the ICU crew bring this man back 3 times and I’ve been praying with the family and praying that God’s will be done and let this young man go when the family was still fighting for him to live.

I saw death on other floors as well.

I also saw unbelievable miracles. A man rear-ended by a SEMI walked a way from the accident. A woman whose car was under a SEMI walked away with minor injuries. A man who had a stroke was talking with me and praying with me later that evening. I’ve seen people walk away from horrible accidents and people die for no reason.

I have always believed that healing comes in many forms including death. Death is not the miracle that we are all hoping for but sometimes it is the answer that we receive.

Sometimes the answer that we really don’t want to hear is “No.” All of our prayers are answered. Sometimes, albeit infrequent times, we receive the answer that we want to hear, “Yes.” But we have to realize that the answer of a no is still an answer.

This has been a rough year/Christmas season for me and mine. My Grandma Summers died this summer. She was battling cancer and decided that she’d rather be with Jesus. I don’t blame her but I miss her. I miss her laugh and sarcasm and whit. I miss her cookies, even though this year I would not have been able to eat them ;). I asked for healing and got an answer. I asked for more time and got an answer. God healed her but I did not have any more time with her.

My Grandma Shirley went into a home this year. Her body and mannerisms are still here but her mind is gone. I asked God for healing and for a miracle. I asked God for more time. I received answers but did not get the ones I wanted.

This Christmas is really sad. My two Grandmothers, whom I loved dearly and they loved me, will not call this Christmas morning to see how my Christmas was. Grandma Shirley did send a check but it made it a little sadder. She would have done that if she was with it and the fact that my aunt sent it in her stead reminded me that all is not as it was a few years ago.

Jesus heals. I’ve seen him heal in ways that I like and I’ve seen him heal in ways that I do not like.

With the ministry that I do, I must believe that God heals and that God does the work, otherwise my ministry would be pointless. I’ve seen it first hand and so I continue to do the work. And I continue to pray for the outcomes I want, at the same time knowing that sometimes the answer is not one I was hoping for.

Antioch Park at Sunset

Unemployment day 3

This day is all about my usefulness! This morning one of my cousins is dealing with the death of a loved one. I stepped up and brought comfort the only way I know how, through prayer.
In the days since being dismissed I’ve gone through the low moments of questioning my self-worth but this morning I realized something: I couldn’t do that job, so what. I wasn’t meant for menial, low level jobs, praise The Lord!
This morning as I offered a prayer I remembered why I love ministry, why I love helping people, why I love being with people at their hardest moments.
I love my ministry. I was never meant to do that job for very long and I’m thankful that it is over, so that I can do the work that reminds me each day that I have a purpose, that reminds me that I am good, that reminds me that I have worth.
All that job ever taught me was that I sucked at it and that my worth was wrapped up in my ability to do tasks with little purpose. I’m a helper, in need of a helping job, not a job with little purpose.
I’m looking forward to the days of networking with churches in the area. I’m looking forward to the days of finally having a purpose again.
Today is soapbox day, a day filled with writing all the things I neglected to write in the past few months because of a lack of energy, time, and commitment.
I’m hoping that this time of unemployment will be easier than past times. I’m hoping that this time will be filled with moments where God reminds me how awesome I am and where God guides me and gives me strength.

Unemployment day 1

I’ve never been fired before. It’s so weird. I’ve quit tons of jobs but never have I been fired.
I spent most of yesterday grieving the loss. I allowed myself to cry and to say goodbye. Today I’m glad that the monkey is off my back.
I did cpe and this job together and there was more pressure at the job than the cpe. That seems wrong.
One of my co workers mentioned that the job required us to be on pins and needles the whole time and that the only reason she stayed with it was for the kpers benefits.
I stayed with it for the friends I made but in the end I hated that job. I hated the pressure and commitment of a 20hr a week job.
Yesterday I came home and started ridding my life of this job. Goodbye phone reminders of work. Goodbye all the paper they gave me. Goodbye, and good riddens. I’ll miss the people but not the job.
After ridding my life of the things I started searching for jobs. I found some things that made me hopeful. I’m looking forward to starting the next part of my life.
Today I’m going Christmas dress shopping and last minute gift shopping then back to the work of finding a job.
It’s not glamorous but I’m gearing up for the journey.

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