Uncensored, unedited me!

A banana a day

Depressed? Eat a banana. The article that I linked is an article about a study that a university did with bananas and their affects on depression. Truth is eating a banana won’t cure your depression but it will help.

I’ve been sad quite a bit this week. And each time I have felt sad I have said to myself “Eat a banana.” I’ve been saying it kind of as a joke. Sort of.

Truth is if I just deal with it/cry a little I will be able to lessen the sadness and won’t need the banana. Although bananas are one of the things I can eat now so one a day isn’t a bad idea. 🙂

I went to the grocery store again last night because I needed some more things. I took my mp3 player hoping that if I listened to some tunes I wouldn’t get as  frustrated. It didn’t really help but I did listen to some good tunes.

Then it took me 30 minutes to go 5 miles (which is what happens when you decide to grocery shop at rush hour, what was I thinking?).

So all in all a very frustrating outing and then I cut my finger on a cheese grater because I was frustrated with the hand guard. It was almost a guarantee that something suck-y was going to happen yesterday. Including my cousin’s kid in the hospital for an extended stay and my aunt going to the ER. Seriously God what is happening?

I’m sad because my grandma has dementia. I’m sad because I can’t eat what I want. I’m anxious because I only have a few weeks to find a job. Shit’s getting deep (excuse my language if it bothers you). I need to deal with it before it gets too high and I drown in it.

I have to write a paper by Tuesday (and read the book for the paper).  I also need to plan what I am going to teach tomorrow and all I really want to do is curl up and watch a movie and then clean my room. I should also venture to Whole Foods to get the things I can’t get anywhere else.

I hate food shopping. I used to like it. I used to like planning out my meals.

I went to my favorite restaurant this week: Green Street. And tried to order my favorite salad but it had blue cheese crumbles and blue cheese dressing and chicken all of which I had to ask to be removed. It was a dry salad and was not worth the trip. The company made it worthwhile but it was just another meal that I cannot enjoy anymore.

It made me so sad but I would have felt ridiculous crying in the restaurant so I didn’t. Although I didn’t feel ridiculous bringing my own tea bag. I should have brought my own dressing too. I tried my own dressing on it when I got home and it was okay but what is the fun of eating out if I have to make the meal myself. I wanted to eat out so that dinner wouldn’t be something I had to make. So that it could be simple. It just made me sad.

After that experience I’m not sure eating out is worth it. I am feeling better which makes all of this worth it. But that’s little succor when I am bereft of  pizza (paraphrasing from The Big Bang Theory “Stale pastry is hollow succor of man who is bereft of ostrich.”).

Gluten is in everything. In things you wouldn’t think of. So shopping is at least an hour process and it is frustrating. But I did learn something this trip that will make my next trip less frustrating. Apparently the manager at Trader Joes has a list of Gluten-Free items that he will let you see when you come in. Maybe someone there can help me shop 😉

Lots to do today and I don’t feel like doing any of it. Maybe I should just eat a banana 🙂


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