Grr doctor! Grrr!

Hey all,
If you’ve been following me on facebook at all or have run into me on campus or sent me a text lately you will know that I have been sick.

I have been sick for 6 months (I did the math yesterday) and I am annoyed!

I went to the doctor today expecting something different. I went to the doctor expecting someone to hear me. Someone to care. I didn’t get that. I got more frustration, more reason for frustration and a ride home crying.

I really did cry most of the way home. It was a sad sight to see and I was quite honestly sad. I hate living like this!

I hate it! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You get it right? Well you will when I am done! 🙂

So 6 months ago I decided to go to the doctor because I was having diarrhea every day. This is horrible diarrhea. Imagine running to the bathroom without certainty that you will make it. Imagine sitting there praying for it to be over. Imagine the night before lying in bed trying to get comfortable but dealing with pain and horrible cramping. Imagine being in the bathroom, having diarrhea and chills and pain. It is painful. Imagine that when you get up in the morning from 8am or so until 11am you can’t go anywhere or plan anything because you can’t be away from the bathroom for too long.  Some days you are lucky and you only have to do this once but most days you have to repeat the running to the bathroom at least 5 times.

IT SUCKS! It’s painful and I literally cry some mornings asking God to help me. And this has been going on for 6 months! 6 months! I AM FRUSTRATED!

So I spent $20 today to see the doctor. I told her about the cramping and the low energy and the aches and the pains. I told her about my ear ache and everything and she said, “You need to go back to the GI.”

And I said, “The guy that didn’t do anything? The one that told me to add fiber to my diet and never told me about the CT.”

She said, “Well you can request someone else.”

Oh well Thank You (sarcasm and I didn’t actually say thank you).

Then I mentioned in the past 2 weeks I have had the lovely addition of an ear ache and the feeling like it is draining which has added nausea to the fun game I have been playing.

She said I need an ear wash and its probably just the wax build up. Oh please! My ears don’t hurt because of wax build up. I always have wax build up ever since my doctor in Kansas said I wasn’t allowed to use Q-Tips. (Something about pushing the wax deeper in instead of actually getting it out. He did too many washes himself which is why I know its not the build up. Been there. Done that.)

Maybe if I said I only get an ear ache when I am sitting up and a killer headache as well. And that I only feel nauseated when I bend over? Then maybe she would listen to me. I did try that but she assumed all of my symptoms were related to  the GI crap. So until they figure out what I have going on in my GI I will never know what else is wrong with me! I HATE THIS!

She did the exact same thing 6 months ago. She wouldn’t look at anything until the GI made me have 3 colonoscopys because they couldn’t get their head out of their asses. (Sorry I’m supremely pissed off right now.)

She did however tell me about the CT I had in August. That no one bother to tell me about. That was the CT that sent me to surgery. The CT also showed that I have another kidney stone and scaring in my kidney. Why didn’t anyone tell me about that before today? They send me emails about blood tests that proved nothing but another kidney stone. Who cares right? I CARE! It’s my ongoing issue. And if I don’t do something about them early they get bigger and get stuck on the way out. Kidney stones I know. Kidney stones I am used to. This no one listening to me, this no one doing anything is what I don’t know. This is something I am not used to.

It’s like they are passing me around. Each doctor saying they don’t know what’s going on and dropping the ball. “OH this isn’t my area. Go see this person.” No one’s doing anything. No one’s helping me get better. Each one dropping me. I’m the ball. Does no one care? It feels like no one cares! And that sucks!  This sucks!

So I spent $20 today for nothing. I got another sample to do and get my blood drawn tomorrow. They are checking for infection. Why didn’t they check for that 6 months ago?! Will my ear infection show up on the blood test? Maybe then I can get some drugs!!!

I have to call the GI place tomorrow and request a second opinion. I’m so upset by this annoying day that I was short with my roommate earlier. I’m rarely so short with her or anyone else but I was so upset I knew I needed to call my parents and take a nap.

I hate feeling like this! I hate been inattentive to my friends because I feel so sick. It annoys the hell out of me! I hate this! I hate this! I’ve missed a couple days of work and a couple classes! And I’ve missed several fun things with friends because of this ongoing hell!

I’m so sick of this!

I need an advocate. I need someone to speak for me because no one is listening to me!

Grr doctor! Grr!


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