Last night a friend of mine invited me to a night of prayer and potluck. I have actually been invited to events like this before but have never gone for fear of not knowing anyone (besides the host). I decided that I needed prayer so I wanted to go. In order to insure that I wouldn’t back out I decided to offer rides to a couple people that needed one. This worked out great and eased some of my social anxiety. Some awkward conversations where I continued to say the wrong thing brought back the anxiety but I was in the door and people were relying on me for rides so there was no leaving early.
I talked with some new people and soon relaxed enough to be myself. When it came time for prayer I gave an abridged version of what was going in my life. I was seeking prayer for healing but not getting my hopes up because I have been prayed for before for healing and I have never received which can be a little frustrating and sad. When we were praying silently I kept asking God to open my heart to not only healing but what he had to say to me.
My friend who was leading asked for everyone to lay hands on me which is an experience that I love. I love the feel of people holding me in prayer. Which is an odd feeling for me because touch is such an intimate and sometimes awkward thing. It requires trust which is not something that I give freely.
Within seconds one of the people praying said that he heard God telling me that I am beautiful and that God had not forgotten me. I was lost in emotion. For one, God gave me a word a few months ago: Beauty. He said that I am beauty which is just truly awesome so confirmation of that was great. When he said that God had not forgotten me I realized that I felt that God had forgotten me. The turmoil of what has been going on health wise was leaving me feeling forgotten.
I have also felt forgotten when it comes to romantic relationship. Like God just forgot that part of the plan. A repeated concept as people prayed was that God had not forgotten me.
There were other things said but the things that stuck were that I am beautiful and that God had not forgotten me. When they were done praying my friend asked what I was feeling and I responded that I was still in pain but that God was speaking to my soul.
Once we were done praying for me I had the chance to pray others which was just as fun as getting prayed for. I loved using some of the healing techniques or tools that I have picked up and allowing God to show me what he saw in others or wanted to say to people. It was truly an awesome night.
I also realized something that is important to me. I realized that I would like the next man I date to be someone I can do ministry with. Not that this man has to do the ministry that I am doing or that he has to be a minister. But that I like the idea of praying for people with the man I love. I like the idea of doing ministry side-by-side is something new and something I would like to give a try.
All in all it was a great night. I didn’t receive any physical healing but God spoke to me, which is really all I can ask for.