I’d like to try backseat dating. I’m not sure it could actually work but I really want to give it a try. Have you seen Must Love Dogs? In the movie the main character’s sisters end up signing her up on a dating website and then set her up on dates. She is strictly hands off. Now the character gets upset that people are making the decisions for her but I kind of like it.
It reminds me of Friends when Rachel asks Monica to make her dating decisions for her. I want to make all the dating decisions but I want my friends to do all the work to make it happen. I don’t want to talk to the guys online I want my friends to just set me up.
Do you think it could work?
After 8 years without going out on dates I’m a little weary of dating. I’m guy shy if you will and a little afraid of both finding something real and of getting hurt again. So I’d like to try backseat dating, wherein I enlist the help of friends who know who I am and what I am looking for in a man. They set me up on dates and until the first date I take a backseat to dating. My friends take over until the time of the date, then its up to me to get in the front seat and take over.
I think it might be absolutely ridiculous but I also think it might work. For centuries parents set their children up so what if my friends instead took up the challenge.
Last night I spent some honest time with a friend where I took an honest look at myself and what I am actually looking for. The things I am looking for are simple:
Good looking which not only includes outside factors but inside factors as well. A good looking body can be ruined by a horrible personality and an average looking guy can become a hunk if his personality is awesome.
Reformed bad boy a plus. I go for the bad boys because they have an understanding of relationship and they don’t live boring lives. They like to have fun but know when to just have a night in as well. Its not a must but an added bonus.
Faith. I’ve dated the non-Christian guys. I’m not saying he has to be a certain denomination but faith is important. He has to share my beliefs because I don’t want to spend our entire relationship fighting about how we are going to raise the kids. I’ve watched my sister go through the pain of that and I don’t want to do that.
Driven. The guy has to have a purpose. I’m not saying he has to have a calling to ministry (although that would be nice) but he has to have a goal. I have big dreams and I need someone as driven as I am. I won’t be content to be with a guy that has no goals and likes a dead-end job. I need someone driven.
Interested in me. I want a guy that can’t wait to spend time with me.
I think that’s it. Last night this friend and I discussed who we thought would be perfect for the other and once we were honest we were pretty sure that we didn’t know. In other words, we were sure we hadn’t met them yet.
So how exactly would this backseat dating work? I’m pretty open to how it would work. Ideally my friends would pick through their single guy friends and pick someone that way. Or they would set up a dating profile for me, wherein they would take the reins and only give control to me once they had set up a date.
Its probably not going to happen but a girl can dream can’t she? If it did happen it might for a while allow me to let go of the control. To really give control to someone else with an understanding that I would still be dating. I think that’s why I have trouble giving up control to God. God’s answer for 8 long years has been silence. He won’t take away the desire to be with someone and he won’t give me dates to go on. I want assurances that I will be dating soon. That someone will find me attractive and want to take me out on a date. I have this fear that if I’m not searching no one will find me.
But what if while I have been searching he has been searching for me? What if its like when I call home and the call drops and I try to call my mom back while she’s calling me back and we keep getting each other’s voicemail until someone stops calling back and then we can get through? What if I have been chasing my own tail for so long that he can’t find me because I won’t sit still.
I don’t think it actually works like this but if I believe it even a little I might be able to convince myself to slow down.