Uncensored, unedited me!

Archive for November, 2010

Watched “Private Pracitce” Last Night and Now I am Thinking

So I watched Private Practice last night and I have been thinking all this morning.  Last night I was thinking that since I am still looking for a job I should try to find a job with a sexual abuse non-profit even if their goal is not the same as mine.  So I am looking for that specifically right now and trying to seek it out (but I will also be seeking any employment at this time no matter what it is).

But that’s not what has me writing this blog. While I was dressing this morning I was thinking what it was like to watch that episode as a rape survivor.  What I never considered until this morning is what kind of impact that has on the family.  I mean in my family we have difficulty expressing emotions and keep feelings hidden because of this.  I do it too. It’s not just them so I cannot fault them for something they did not learn how to do. I mean my parents’ brothers and sisters and parents don’t know how to express emotions either so no wonder that it has trickled into my immediate family as well.  All that to say I have no idea how my family feels about my rape.  I have no clue how they feel about how it has effected me.  I have no clue how I feel about it besides feelings of violation.  So this morning I was thinking of how my rape has affected the people in my life.

For instance, how does it feel to have a sister that was raped? What effect does the abuse that happened to me, have on my family? I am actually thinking of this because as I finish my seminary education I have to think about what I want to do with my degree. How do I actually want to formulate my job description?  When I present myself to a church how do I present my gifts? What can I offer them? What kind of things do I want my non-profit to offer?

I was looking at www.rainn.org last night and looking at what they offered.  For the most part they offer prevention, education, and hotlines/referrals to counselors.  They offer no specific help but rather ways to get in touch with other agencies or people who can help you.  That is a great service but not the service I want to offer.

So I was thinking what kind of things would I want to offer?  What are there needs for? I think number one at top of my list is support groups.  Secular/Christian groups for women who have been sexually abused to get healing and reenter their lives: emotionally, spiritually, physically, sexually, etc.  Every area of a women’s life is effected by the abuse that they suffered.  But this morning I was wondering if their should also be support for the families of the abused? Would that be something people would benefit from? Do my friends, family, loved ones suffer and need some support because of what happened to me? Would spouses benefit from a support group?

These are things I am asking myself this morning.  I have no answers but because I watched an emotional episode of Private Practice I am now thinking of more than the survivors of abuse and actually beginning to think about the supporters in the survivors lives. Amazing how a guilty pleasure TV show can show you what your future ministry might be lacking…

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